Week 9, Day 1: Gratitude

I am almost over my cold now; there is a slight residual cough but I'm pretty much back to normal.

Went to my MWM meeting at Kaiser last night. The weight loss last week was not spectacular (1.2 pounds) but my blood pressure read normal! 127/89. That is so amazing! And to think that as recently as late December, my blood pressure was registering over 190.

I've now lost a total of 24.6 pounds. Staying on the plan is hard at times. I yo-yo between enjoying the product (like tonight's raspberry vanilla shake--yumm!) and being truly tired of having no "regular" food.

Today is the birthday of one of my co-workers. Someone brought chocolate dipped strawberries to work. I resisted all day and didn't even look at them. This afternoon, at about three, I went into the break room and saw one last strawberry on the plate. No one was around, no one would have seen me eat it. And it was just one strawberry! One wouldn't hurt, would it? Did I think about it? Yesssss….. Did I eat it? NO! (Did I take a picture of it? Of course!)

Anyway, enough about chocolate-dipped strawberries! Back to last night's cohort meeting.

One of the physicians came in and talked about ways of dealing with challenges and stress without resorting to self-medicating with food. One of her slides said "Food Is Medicine", which contradicts what I just wrote a sentence ago. But the difference is, food is medicine for our bodies. It should not be an antidepressant, or a mood stabilizer, or an antidote to boredom. There are other ways to cope.

We broke into small groups to brainstorm about coping strategies, or what the doctor calls our "Stress Toolbox". Suggestions were: talking to friends and family; taking a walk; listening to (or playing) music; a bubble bath with candles; creating art or doing a craft; spending time with our pets; reading a good book; watching something uplifting on TV, such as a travelogue or home improvement show.

Chocolate covered strawberries didn't make the list. :)

Since I've been on the program I've pondered a great deal about the triggers that prompted me to overeat. I am a big stress eater. When something goes wrong, or if I'm in an uncomfortable place, having something (anything!) to eat will make me feel better, for a few minutes at least. I am teaching myself to pause and think about what is really going on before grabbing some food and mindlessly eating it. And unfortunately, what I would usually grab was junk and empty calories.

Before this program, I would just put stuff in my mouth without even thinking about it! Now that I am ingesting five Optifast products a day, I think about each one, before and during. I think about the taste, the texture, and I space them out enough so that usually I enjoy the experience. I want to take that new habit into transition and maintenance.

Affirmation: Food is medicine for my body. I mindfully eat only what I need, with gratitude, then put the fork and plate away to move forward and live my life.

What strategies are in your "Stress Toolbox"? What can you do for yourself as an alternative to eating for stress release?

Week 3, Day 7: Another 3.4 Pounds Gone! Bye-Bye!

Weighed in tonight and found that another 3.4 pounds has been released. That gives me a total of 10.6 pounds since starting product on January 21. I am SO excited!

Not only is that good news, but my blood pressure was significantly lower today—145/99. Still not ideal, but a big improvement.

This evening in class our group leader, N, talked with us about setting goals. She gave us an acronym, AMOS, to remember how our goals should be:

Achievable
Measurable
Observable
Specific

Even though we all have a goal for where we want to be in 30 weeks, N said that setting a weekly weight loss goal is setting ourselves up for disappointment; since, as hard as we might try, and as perfectly as we follow the program, there is a possibility that we might not lose that week, or we might even gain. Better to set a behavioral goal instead, such as exercising every day for a certain period of time, or walking a minimum number of steps per day, or making sure we sleep for seven hours a night (which supports weight loss.)

Most of us had exercise-related goals. My goal is to exercise twice a day for 20 minutes, morning and evening, until next Monday. After Monday I will increase my goal to 30 minutes in the morning and then a shorter 15 minute walk in the evening.

We are asked to reward ourselves with something (non-food) when we have achieved our goal. My "reward" will  be a bouquet of fresh flowers. Others around the room mentioned getting a manicure, or an evening at the movies, or a new workout t-shirt. I am so used to reaching for a cookie, or a glass of wine and a piece of cheese (or whatever) when I wanted to "treat" myself, that it took me a second to come up with a "reward."

Because we are all on product only, we can't set food-related goals, per se. But one thing N said was so meaningful to me that I wrote it down. It was, "Treat your calories like cash." Don't eat junk that you can't remember five minutes later. If you are going to splurge, "budget" for it and make it something that is really, really good.

Yesterday was Sunday so I got daring and tried Zumba for the first time, on DVD. It was challenging, but a lot of fun! Because I was alone in my living room (except for my cats) I didn't worry about looking foolish and just went with it. I borrowed the disks, but I am seriously tempted to purchase a set for myself.

Week 2, Day 7: Another four pounds have run away from home! Ciao!

I went to my meeting tonight and when they did my weigh-in, I have lost another four pounds!  Combined with last week, that's seven pounds total! I'm stoked. The blood pressure is still high (162/105). When I met with the doctor for my med check he said that if it is still high at the next med check in two weeks that he would refer me to my primary physician for a blood pressure prescription.

But seven pounds! I feel awesome.

The doctor did the class presentation tonight about the importance of exercise in helping us lose the weight and not regain it. Men can work out as much as they want, but they advise women to limit it to no more than 45 minutes a day, as too much exercise on this MWM plan can stall weight loss.  Our group leader handed out pedometers which we are supposed to wear everywhere, all day long. The goal is to walk at least 5000 steps per day, and work up to 10,000 steps. We are also asked to do resistance four times a week.

He told us that if we don't exercise while losing lots of weight, we risk messing up our metabolism for six years. I'm not too sure about that. I think he might have been trying to scare us into exercising. There are probably some people who are metabolically challenged due to illness and/or certain medications, etc. But many folks use their "slow metabolism" as an excuse to remain overweight.

I dusted off my Leslie Sansone DVDs, which have helped me in the past. She does a walking in place routine, a mile at a time, and there is a resistance component as well. I still have the bands from before. I like Leslie...she's sort of like a grown-up chipper cheerleader.

This is exciting. My sciatica is acting up but I am still anxious to start walking. I have my alarm set to get up earlier tomorrow morning to get my first workout in. And then, I hope to do a second one after work. The doctor said it would be okay to break up the 30 minutes, or 45 minutes (whatever we do) into two or three shorter workouts.

I learned an interesting thing and a funny thing in the doctor's lecture. The interesting thing is that "false hunger" lasts about 11 minutes. If we feel the urge to eat when it's not time to eat, he said to drink some water and wait 11 minutes. If it's false hunger, it will pass. If it's real hunger, we will still feel hungry after more than 11 minutes have passed, have some product.

The funny thing: He actually told us not to smoke marijuana! I figured that went without saying, but he said that participants in the past have toked up and since it lowers the inhibitions and at the same time, provokes  the munchies...well, you know the rest.  But while he was talking about pot, he was looking directly at me. I guess I look like the dopehead in the group.

That gave me a giggle...I had to share.

The big day approaches...

I haven't always been big. I was an average-sized baby (weighing in at 7 lbs, 5 ounces at birth) and a small-to-average-sized kid. In high school, at 5'5" tall, I weighed between 120-125 lbs, which was considered normal at that time (these days I'd be considered a stick figure compared to many teens today). In my twenties I was very active -- didn't own a television and for many years didn't own a car, so I either walked or rode my bike, or took public transportation everywhere.  These were the 1970s and 80's, so no Internet, either!

Got married in my later twenties. My marriage quickly became very unhappy and and I began emotionally eating.  The pounds started to pile on!! My then-husband berated me for being heavy and berated me more when I tried to lose. Divorced a few years later and in the process lost two fat asses!! (Sorry, couldn't resist.) Seriously, I lost 80 pounds in what I described as my "Divorce Diet"-- eating little, exercising much. It's true that walking and running relieves stress! And I wanted to look good because I was still young and thought I didn't want to be single forever.

That was twenty years ago. The weight started to slowly and insidiously creep back on.  I've lost some pounds and summarily gained them back during these intervening years.  I'm still unmarried (contentedly so) and I like to cook for myself and others. My leisure pursuits mostly involve handcrafts; which, while satisfying and produce beautiful results, aren't known for their calorie-burning properties. My job is a highly responsible one and can be stressful. Our clients will often bring us delicious goodies to show their appreciation, which festoon the break room. I have a hard time resisting, especially when the workday is hectic and pressure-filled.

So here I am...60 pounds overweight, with crazy high blood pressure (191/112 at the very highest; 171/108 a week later), and hypothyroidism (for which I take medication).  I'm not diabetic (yet) but Type 2 diabetes is in my family. No longer am I so motivated to look hot in a mini-skirt. I'm more concerned about being able to move my body freely and keep serious illness at bay, and do whatever is in my power to help myself live a long and enjoyable life.

The Kaiser Medical Weight Management (MWM) program (you need not be a Kaiser member to join -- it's a fee-for-service program that costs the same whether you belong to Kaiser or not) is physician-supervised and consists of three phases:  Active Weight Loss, Transition, and Maintenance.  On Active Weight Loss, no "regular" food is eaten, just Optifast products, for 15 weeks, and exercise is introduced a couple of weeks into the program.  In Transition, patients are weaned off the Optifast products one at a time, and food is reintroduced. Maintenance is about maintaining healthy eating and exercise habits, hopefully for a lifetime. The entire program lasts for about a year and a half, and "graduates" are allowed to attend weekly meetings as long as they want.

What attracted me to the program is the educational component. I can lose weight. I've proven that fact  over and over! My challenge is to break the bad eating habits permanently and get to the crux of why I overeat, so I can stop the behavior and maintain a healthy weight for life.

Before being admitted to the MWM program I had to do fasting blood tests, an EKG, and be evaluated by a Kaiser physician.  My first meeting with my group (Kaiser calls them "Cohorts") was last week, where we privately weighed in and had blood pressure taken. We taste-tested some of the product (not haute cuisine, but not terrible, either...the only thing that grossed me out was the strawberry shake).

I can do this!! :)

We met our group leader, N, a peppy, energetic, and slender young lady with a degree in Nutritional Science. N said that if we cheat and eat food or drink alcohol on the Active Weight Loss phase, they will know about it because it will show up in our blood tests! Also, if we suddenly eat fatty foods after having consumed only Optifast product, we put ourselves at risk for gallstones.

No sneaking through the drive-thru at Mickey D's for even a small order of fries!! ;)

Beginning this week, I am embarking on a new way of life.

To those who are still with me at this point...thank you for reading!  I'll try to be more concise in future postings.  I receive my first order of product this week, and I'll blog about how things are going.